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| | | | (Girls -- Please have a sense of humour!)
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never
have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with
their head and women with their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE:
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts
to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'
I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your
physical needs as a man.'
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not
what I do for you in the bedroom?'
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out
to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked
around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't
decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'
We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.
Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a
shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet
when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing
sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she
finally said, 'I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier.'
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'
I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in
touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a
woman.'
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you
just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter
than her.
Live.
Love.
Laugh.
Sleep Later. |
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