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| | | | This is a rather long story, and I'm sorry. I thought it was important however for two reasons. One, because I have realized that when you love someone unconditionally, you have to take all of the parts...the good things, and the bad ones. During the bad times, you have to love and support one another. Divorce comes too easy. Secondly, it's a lesson to NEVER drive while drinking. Luckily no one gets physically hurt in this story...but the consequences are still there.
It has been a hellish week for me. I seriously thought Danny and I were going to end up divorced. I was mad and I felt betrayed over something utterly stupid he did, and I didn't know how to handle it.
Last weekend when I was working away from home (my usual go into work on Friday, and don't come home until Sunday afternoon), I get a call from him on my cell phone at 11:30pm. All I heard, was him saying..."I'm sorry! I'm sorry baby!." What the hell? Was he sorry for waking me up? No...he was sorry because he had just gotten arrested, and was sitting in the back of the cop car bawling. Apparently, he was driving while drunk. *shakes my head* I didn't know what to say, except that he would have to go to jail and stay there, because I was NOT getting him out.
He apparently was going 76 in a 55 mile an hour zone...blew a .184 (blood alcohol level here is .08), had an open container and had no insurance. Wonderful.
So..he loses his license for a year, and is not eligible for a work permit because he had another charge from 11 years ago, and they go back 12 years. It's getting better, isn't it???
I'm PISSED. No, I'm FURIOUS. I'm feeling betrayed, and all of the gamut of feelings. He has to find someone to take him to work and bring him home, and I am responsible for getting myself to work, Ali to school, finding someone to be home at 4pm when Ali gets off of the bus, get Dylan to grandma's clear on the other side of town, and get him in the evening. I have weird hours at work, and Danny has always helped in getting the kids. Now what the hell do I do? Not to mention that the expense of this whole damned thing will cost thousands of dollars...which we don't have. We live paycheck to paycheck, and we've been getting really good at saving money for unexpected things. BUT...I did not see THIS coming, and we will have to shell out gobs of money for a damned stupid mistake.
For a week, I refused to talk to him. I told him he was more of a roomate than a husband, and I didn't want to even look at him. I said a few more things, which he cried about....I couldn't even feel badly about that. The more I thought about it, the more I stewed. I figured we should probably go to marriage counseling, and I mentioned that to him. You know what he says? Why should we go to marriage counseling if this is all just him??? I started fuming then. This is NOT just about him. It effects the entire family, and if he didn't realize that, then we were in a more serious situation than I had originally thought.
The next day at work, he text me and told me he would do whatever it takes to keep me and the kids. He would go to counseling, and he would stop drinking completely. I've heard that one before, but I didn't say anything.
Then...miracle of all miracles happen. It's kind of weird, but it actually brought us back together.
I THOUGHT I lost my wedding ring at work. I THOUGHT I had accidentally flushed it down the toilet when I was cleaning. I panicked, and called him. I felt soooooooooooooo bad, and I just KNEW that he would think I did it on purpose. Well, he was so damned nice. He said that we would get a new one, and we could renew our vows. We could start over again, because he would remarry me in a heartbeat. When I told him I didn't understand, since I've been so distant from him, he said that he completely understood why I was acting that way, but that I completed him and he didn't want to ever lose me. Just how the HELL can you stay mad at someone who says that???? He then told me that he will ask his lawyer to talk to the judge about putting him in an outpatient alcohol treatment, and that he needed my support because he couldn't do it alone.
My husband was asking for my help. I couldn't just turn him down. He knows what he did was wrong, and he knows that this is going to cost the family a lot of money. But we love one another and the kids, and we have to make it work.
By the way, I found my ring in the kitchen. For some reason, I think that it was meant to happen. I was meant to think I lost my ring, and we were meant to talk through our problems.
We are fine now. Yes, we have a long road ahead of us, but together we will be ok.
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| | | | Sometimes things occur in relationships and people have to work through them. You went through your stages of how you felt and finally he did something I hardly ever see where I work...He admitted he had a problem. Most people never do. Its the blame game and thats when relationships end and children are caught in their parents battles. Good for him for admitting he needed help before losing more then a way to drive.
Glad things are working girl.
Life is a wonderful journey, its what you make of it along the way that counts.  |
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| | | | *hugs me a compassion angel*
sending good vibes your way angel girl... you can do it, that much i know...
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"Tell me, and I'll listen
Show me, and I'll understand
Involve me, and I'll learn"
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... it's about learning to dance in the rain." |
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